The Commercial that Changed My Life
I turned on the television and to find four beautiful women sipping cocktails in a posh looking night club talking about the wonders of having only four periods a year because of this wondrous new birth control. I was intrigued and convinced that heaven had opened up its doors and placed this commercial there right for me. My periods are no laughing matter I spend the first three days laid up in the fetal position wanting to kill any one that dares open my bedroom door but this commercial had me convinced that this no longer had to be my life.
These women had me convinced that not only would I have 4 periods a year but my periods going forward would be lighter, meaning no more cramping. I bought it every word of it and so the next day I headed to the VA (ex-Coastie) to get the real facts from my doctor. She praised the product to as being a miracle to the women she knew that had tried it. She ordered me up a 3 month supply and I was on my way.
The Fairytale Beginnings
The first three months were the most glorious months of my life. I felt like spinning around singing in an open field like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. I didn’t have a period for an entire three months and I was overjoyed to not have to dread the day my period started. Things were going so smoothly and then I started in on my second pack.
The Nightmare Begins
It had all been roses up until now. No period. No cramping. I was one happy momma. Well it all came to a screeching halt. I had been feeling well and my clothes didn’t seem to be fitting me all that well either. I hopped on the scale and was in shock that I had gained 10lbs and I was already eating healthy and exercising (so it was not my diet). I was mortified and depressed. My good old birth control pill wouldn’t let me off that easy. A few days later I began to spot. I understood that spotting was normal and wasn’t too concerned but when spotting turned into a full blown period and that turned into a 3 month long period with no end in sight I got worried.
First I called my doctor who never returned my phone call. SO then I called and asked to talk to her nurse, who talked to my doctor, who told her to tell me it was normal and to just wait it out. NORMAL! Bleeding for three months is not in any way shape or form NORMAL. So I waited and waited then it was time to get a little crazy on them. I called the doctor’s office everyday twice a day for about 4 days. Finally the nurse called me back and I had to make the situation dire. I explained that I had been bleeding for three months in the most dramatic way I could possibly muster up with tears and all. She caved and the doctor prescribed me a hormone to stop the bleeding. Now I asked myself why in the hell did she not prescribed me this when I called the first time. Apparently the heavens didn’t drop this magic pill in my lap, hell did and my doctor was there to prolong my torture.
Nature Don’t Play
I use to take for granted when people said “don’t mess with nature” or “let nature take its course”. Now all I can say is NATURE DON’T PLAY. There is nothing natural about birth control and so I know that using it could cause Mother Nature to get very upset and wage war on my body. Since then I have discontinued said birth control and went with the old school pill where you have a period every single month just like nature intended. Yes it’s a pain but once a month is a hell of a lot better than a continuous 3 month cycle.